on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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