U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
