He disabled his match.com account in front of me
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
