That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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