It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
