What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
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What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
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Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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