walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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