So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
