i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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