I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
