i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
