Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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