Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
