...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Randomize
