Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
