His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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