They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
