You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
