she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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