oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
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