whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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