I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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