i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
