Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
