It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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