life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize