I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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