Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There's always time for handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize