Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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