So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize