Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
