Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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