Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
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I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
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I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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