Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Is it penis luge time yet?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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