I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The adults are the big ones right?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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