we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
