Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
