sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
