I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
