She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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