love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
