remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
