is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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