Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
