ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
