There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
