hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize