This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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