No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
