none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize