You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
