Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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