those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
