is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
