i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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