A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
