Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
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There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
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Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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