i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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